Yuletide R&R

Compiled from various sources.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, no minors."
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."
Bartender asks a woman what she wants. “An entendre,” she says. “Make it a double.” So he gives it to her.
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A rabbi, a priest, and a cliché walk into a bar.
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out - we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies "Easy! I'll let you know when I want more."
Two atoms walk into a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
A spoonerism walks into a bar and asks where to find a shitted feet.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church and the priest says "thank god you made it, we can't have mass without you."
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
An alliteration traipsed into a tavern, where it tangled tempestuously with an insistent, illiterate intern.
A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks if he'd like food with that. The black hole says 'No thanks, I'm a light eater'.
A typo wakled into a bar.
Voice recognition walks into a bar. You think he wood of scene it write in front of him.